allyouneedisclarinet

chraystmaseve:

omgoswin:

kylesbogusjourney:

Female privilege is getting to claim a headache to avoid sex.

Female oppression is having to claim physical illness to avoid sex because men won’t take a simple fucking “no” for an answer.

Female oppression is men being so entitled that they think being denied sex is oppressive.

 #OOOO FUCKING OWND YOU GOT FUCKING SLAM DUNKED SON YOU’RE GONNA NEED LIKE TEN FEDORAS TO COVER THAT BRUISE FUCKNUTS

bewbin

untilyourbreathingst0ps:

pearls:

pearls:

i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun

sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard 

ive seen this post umpteen times and ive always thought that if you switched u and i around it wouldn’t make sense like “u touched a” and i literally just realised you meant duck and not dick i swear to god i am the biggest fucking idiot.

nostalgiabyveidt

You Cannot Rest Here

feelinranty:

meeplol:

Have you ever played a video game where you have to sleep to recover? They only let you do it if everything is safe. Otherwise they won’t let you sleep. You’ll get a message, saying “You cannot sleep now, there are monsters nearby.”

Now, remember the last time you just couldn’t get to sleep?

I do.

Don’t you fuckin do this to me